The Big Asks.

It has been said that there is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid answers. Questions are conundrums that created philosophies, lead to scientific discoveries, to revolutions, to wars and conquests. Questions have also led to more mundane human things like love, loss, desire, hope, despair, greed, jealousy, unhappiness - things that are dealt with individually or with a close set of friends and family.

For the regular human questions are usually based on worth. Worth that is a perception of the self and of the other person and that is the fount of most questions. Everything from pay to relationships is based on this – and happy is the person who sees through it all. But until then the question remains.

Though questions are a means towards fulfillment it is not easy to question or ask. Therefore the BIG ASK.

Questions by their very function can be construed as points of vulnerability. A pay-hike request could have its birth in anything from a comparison with a colleague’s salary to the feeling that the money is not commiserate to the work all could be very justifiable though indicating a reassessment of worth. Before such a question is raised a lot of internal dialogue goes on everything from how will the question be perceived to what kind of answer will it beget to the response that would be necessary for the answer. It requires a steeling up that provides the impetus for the question to be asked.

One can handle such impersonal questions, but when it comes to matters that are little more personal boy-oh-boy do things get heated? Asking a woman for her hand in marriage is scary not only because the man is in effect forfeiting all his freedom and friends, but also because she may just say no. So on the one hand his present is looking pretty unsure (before he pops the question), his future is certainly bleak.

But BIG ASKS are not only about life and bank balance altering scenarios, they are also about the smaller stuff, like wanting to get to know a person. In such cases there are many BIG ASKS, from does one really want to get to know the person, to does the individual in question want to get known and what happens if after the BIG ASK the person indicates in the negative. There is always this argument which is very British, take it on the chin and don’t behave like a child. But that is just not possible, because BIG ASKS such as these are based on hope and desire two very basic, very human and very personal emotions that though nurtured in a vacuum of singleness can only blossom in the chaos of two.

One of the results of a BIG ASK is another BIG ASK which is ‘why’ followed by the remonstrations and the hind sight. But the good thing is that in BIG ASKS one never learns from hind sight because there is no such thing as a stupid question.

Pronunciation

Married people eat at

Found this en route home. These paper hoardings for C grade English movies are usually in black and white. The colored hues of this one is a surprise.

But the question is - what were the worries that transformed her and her ilk into 'deadly worriers' ?

Of the road

Rejections

Rejection, a stiletto so sharp –that it both amputates and cauterises in one single movement. However in the hands of an amateur the blood bath that follows would put to shame any abattoir.

There are many forms of rejections and many things are done to and with rejects. The one most spoken about is the rejection in relationships, but those have been done to death so lets move on (the antidote too) to other forms. Rejection of clothes - it may not be good enough for the outside market, but people kill for a branded rejection. Besides clothes, the other things that attract rejection are ideas, answers, proposals (not the ones on bended knee), manuscripts and articles to name but a few.

Almost all forms of rejection provide for the economy. Take for example the rejections of the heart – there are cards for those occasions, restaurants where the final blow is delivered or a shoulder provided, there are long rides that need to be taken, there is alcohol that needs to be drunk and beyond all this is retail therapy. Export rejects, the politically correct name for clothes that fall to quality’s keen eye, have a fan following as brands blind everyone.

The rejections that come from desk of an editor are the hardest to swallow. Invariably they are none, which means that a lot has to be read into the silence, if one is made of steel then one venture’s to ask, but that begets another wall of silence. However there are times when someone from the editors desk deigns to reply. Such moments can be of verbosity or of succinctness, a paragraph not only explaining the reasons for rejection but also wishing success in other attempts does soothe the frayed ego, a telegraphic ‘no’ provides enough kryptonite for another attempt.

If only these editorial pink slips could loose significance over time! But their effect does not dim. Therefore in this age of technology the blog is a perfect outlet for creativity. The fact that readership depends on happenstance does not diminish the delight in seeing ones name in ‘print’.

Even though the blog is an escape, rejections are just another source of creativity for an intrepid ‘rejectionist’.

I am onto 5 books as I write
1. How to get the best rejections ever
2. Getting over rejection
3. I was rejected and I survived
4. The secret life of a rejectionist

5. The rejectionists guide to success

Democracy and its working.

The Election Commission in its attempts to bring transparency and accountability into the election process has ensured that all candidates declare their assets as part of the filing of nomination process.

The recent elections in Karnataka were a case in point; one could say that prospective candidates washed their linen in public or they had skeletons walking out of their closets. It was a veritable ‘get-into-your-candidates-coffers’ offer. Newspapers detailed the amount of gold, cars, houses, fixed deposits, companies, loans, bank accounts that each candidate had. I bet it would have made any Income Tax officer salivate, helplessly – helplessly because the poor officer won’t be able to do much right now as any action would be termed as politically motivated and later would be nigh impossible.

It is such brazen honesty that permits one to stand for election, such brazen honesty gets votes, and it is such brazen honesty that guarantees adulation and even emulation. It is because of this brazen honesty that the last will and testament usually translates into a party ticket for the next generation.

But this form of honesty is not the only indications of an election process of a vibrant democracy. Things get shut down for elections, things like schools, things like government offices and even liquor shops.

Things are shut for a purpose – schools are shut down because that’s where the polling booths are set up and government teachers also become polling officers, government offices are shut down so that employees can fulfil their constitutional duties. Liquor shops are shut down quite a few days before the polling day – no not to ensure that everyone is sober enough to vote but to ensure that the common person does not vote according to the number of pegs he gets.

Because India is also a vibrant economy many things can be bought and sold, there is also a very lively barter system. Candidates not only sell esoteric things like promises - common to all candidates, they also buy voters, and sometimes they barter commodities for votes. One could look at it like this - political candidates have not only taken it on themselves to improve on the current fundamental rights but they also try to ensure that these rights reach people – even if for a few days. So we have politicians providing food and drink to people (right to good food and alcohol), some go further and even distribute silk saris (right to fine clothes).

And so we once again creep closer to another General Election – the great bizarre bazaar of democracy where not only will aspirants pick winning and loosing parties but the electorate will get all the attention it needs to choose winning and loosing candidates. The bazaar where the ‘consumer’ is like the emperor with no clothes, where there is no guarantee on the products chosen, where the products on display do not come with statutory warnings, where there is no chance of returning defective goods.

But this bazaar has been undergoing transformations over the years. People now know what one needs to be done for free and fair elections. Bangalore newspapers were full of photos of saris meant to clothe the electorate and food meant to feed the hungry being snatched away from the hands of well meaning candidates. There were photos of police being deputed to various polling stations. There were even public messages asking people to vote. It may take many more elections before one gets to revel in a democracy and a democratic process that stands on achievements but we are getting there.